The C Word

How do you feel when you hear the C word?

I'm talking about your capital 'C' Career

Are you excited by it? Do you love getting up in the morning? Do you feel inspired?

Or, are you indifferent to it? Do you think of how much you don't want to go first thing when you wake up? Do you feel stuck?

Maybe you're somewhere in the middle, a combination of conflicting feelings?

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Catherine FergusonComment
What's the worst-case scenario?

What's the thing that you really, really want? The thing that maybe you've thought of for years. That nags you every day. Maybe it's:

 - Leaving your job
 - A more peaceful home with less yelling
 - Starting your own business
 - A better relationship with your partner

 - A dream vacation

Whatever it is, I want you to picture yourself with that thing already a reality.

Seriously, stop right now for 10 seconds, close your eyes, and really, truly picture it. 

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Do you put off making decisions?

Maybe you're like me. 

I grew up working hard. But working hard on the path that was already carefully paved for me. 

I knew what was expected of me and what I had to do to check all of the boxes. I got good grades. Excelled at sports. Went to a good college. 

I never really questioned it. And I was happy in my lane. 

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Negative thoughts can happen even when things are awesome

Today was an awesome day.

I went to a yoga class for the first time in 3 months. I hung out with my family. The weather was perfection. Both kids were delightful and very well behaved. All the makings of a perfect day. 

And then tonight after dinner, I found myself in a mini-mental-meltdown. There was no real cause. No tantrum that pushed me over the edge. It's like my brain was a car engine and it just started overheating after running all day long. 

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Take your feelings back

Here's a thought:  It's not true that people can hurt your feelings. 

Let me explain. 

We grow up to believe that feelings are something that other people can influence. 

"Don't do that, it will hurt their feelings.

We give other people the power to make us feel good or bad: 
 - My boss was rude = I feel offended.
 - My friend was a jerk = I feel angry. 
 - My partner was lazy = I feel annoyed. 

But the truth is, our feelings come from how we think. And we are in charge of our own thoughts. 

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How perfectionism hurts us

In school growing up, being called a "perfectionist" felt like a compliment. 

When every kid was just trying to figure themselves out, "perfectionist" was a label that you could claim with some pride. It meant that you did everything perfectly. That you worked so hard and cared so much about making everything as good as it could possibly be.  

I don't believe this anymore. Nor do I want to claim the label. 

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