Negative thoughts can happen even when things are awesome

Today was an awesome day.

I went to a yoga class for the first time in 3 months. I hung out with my family. The weather was perfection. Both kids were delightful and very well behaved. All the makings of a perfect day. 

And then tonight after dinner, I found myself in a mini-mental-meltdown. There was no real cause. No tantrum that pushed me over the edge. It's like my brain was a car engine and it just started overheating after running all day long. 

My kids were doing entirely normal kid things but each "Mommieee" and high-pitched yelp felt like they were drilling mini holes into my brain. I started getting short. I could feel my patience ebbing away. 

My husband called me out and I was able to say, "I just need a moment." I went upstairs and got in the shower for approximately 4 minutes by myself until the crew trundled in and two very small and very naked humans were deposited into the shower with me. But in those 4 minutes, I was able to calm down and get a hold of my thoughts. To recognize what my tired brain was thinking and redirect it to thoughts that made me feel better and less overwhelmed. 

I think it's important to bring this up because sometimes this just happens to our brains even if nothing "bad" triggers us. We get tired. Our brains go into a habitual spin cycle. And we continue feeling stressed and overwhelmed, sometimes even when there doesn't appear to be a reason. 

What's different for me now compared to a few years ago is that I'm able to notice this happening more often than not. I'm able to back away from the edge before I go sprinting off of it. I'm able to redirect my thoughts to create feelings I would rather feel in place of overwhelm and stress. 

Now both kids are in bed and I'm about to scoop myself an inappropriate amount of ice cream. Looks like today will end up pretty perfect after all.