Do you put off making decisions?
Maybe you're like me.
I grew up working hard. But working hard on the path that was already carefully paved for me.
I knew what was expected of me and what I had to do to check all of the boxes. I got good grades. Excelled at sports. Went to a good college.
I never really questioned it. And I was happy in my lane.
But then I graduated from college and like many people I know, felt adrift for years afterwards. I had no idea what I wanted to do.
But more seriously, I lacked the confidence to make decisions for myself.
I was terrified of getting it "wrong."
So I kept going down a path that seemed like the appropriate, respectable choice. I got raises and promotions and had shiny work perks. But the whole time I always questioned myself. My career choices just never felt "right."
I spent so much time half-heartedly entertaining dozens of different ideas, but I never pulled the trigger because I didn't have the confidence to commit.
I remember I used to say, "I wish someone would just tell me what to do." I wanted to outsource any career decision making because the whole topic felt too overwhelming. I was jealous of people like doctors and lawyers who appeared to follow a calling they always had. It was one less gigantic decision they had to make.
Many years and many jobs went by. I kept waiting for "the job" that would make me happy to appear.
But we know how this turns out, don't we?
It didn't come. Despite new companies, titles, salaries, I always ended up feeling the same way.
Discouraged. Uninspired. Not really good enough.
Two things happened that finally broke me out of this pattern:
I got coached and learned coaching tools that taught me that the external was never going to make me feel the way I wanted to feel. First and foremost, my mindset was the most important factor in building my confidence.
I became a mom. I didn't want to put off making changes any longer. I felt it was my responsibility to become better not just for myself, but for my children.
I stepped out of the mind drama and just decided. I stopped letting my subconscious brain tell me what was "realistic" or "respectable" and I decided to finally take a chance on myself.
As I've gotten further into motherhood and coaching, my self-confidence has grown. I am more decisive as well as bolder in my decisions. I am more aware of how I think and feel and how that impacts everything in my life. And I am more proactive about putting into action the steps I need to take to get where I want to go.
It's hard work to make big changes. It feels uncomfortable. But not nearly as uncomfortable as the long term discomfort of being afraid to make decisions and staying where you are.
What do you think?